Barkmann
Sergeant First Class
- Joined
- May 31, 2014
- Messages
- 1,110
Barry Cryer died last week, he was a comic genius. There will be many from the UK on the forum who are of the same vintage as i am and will remember him. He wrote for many many British comedy shows and comics since the 1950s and the American comics Bob Hope and Richard Prior.
Some jokes of his below that made me laugh,
'A wife is in the bathroom trying on a new dress. She comes out and says to her husband: "Does my bum look big in this?" He says: "Oh be fair, it's quite a small bathroom".'
The joke describes a woman who purchases a parrot.
"Well, I must confess, it was brought up in a brothel," says the shopkeeper. "And, to put it politely, it has quite an extensive vocabulary."
"Never mind," says the woman. "I'll take it."
So she takes the parrot home,
puts its cage in the living room and takes the cover off.
"New place - very nice," says the parrot.
Then the woman's two daughters walk in.
"New place, new girls - very nice," says the parrot.
Then the woman's husband walks in, and the parrot says, "Oh hello, Keith!"
He said “As I got older food has replaced my sex life. I’ve even fitted a mirror above the kitchen table.”
He was 86 years old when he died and for the last couple of years kept telling people “I haven’t got long left, I do not even buy green bananas anymore”.
Finally something we can all relate too, “He once said “that politicians are like nappies/diapers, they should be changed frequently. And for the same reason.”
The world got a little less funny when he died.
Some jokes of his below that made me laugh,
'A wife is in the bathroom trying on a new dress. She comes out and says to her husband: "Does my bum look big in this?" He says: "Oh be fair, it's quite a small bathroom".'
The joke describes a woman who purchases a parrot.
"Well, I must confess, it was brought up in a brothel," says the shopkeeper. "And, to put it politely, it has quite an extensive vocabulary."
"Never mind," says the woman. "I'll take it."
So she takes the parrot home,
puts its cage in the living room and takes the cover off.
"New place - very nice," says the parrot.
Then the woman's two daughters walk in.
"New place, new girls - very nice," says the parrot.
Then the woman's husband walks in, and the parrot says, "Oh hello, Keith!"
He said “As I got older food has replaced my sex life. I’ve even fitted a mirror above the kitchen table.”
He was 86 years old when he died and for the last couple of years kept telling people “I haven’t got long left, I do not even buy green bananas anymore”.
Finally something we can all relate too, “He once said “that politicians are like nappies/diapers, they should be changed frequently. And for the same reason.”
The world got a little less funny when he died.