PROMOTING THE WRONG CLASS OF OFFICER;
Ok guys, stand easy:salute::. Now as you know I've been promoted today. Now its not all fine red wine, fine breakfast pastries fine french dancers at the Folie Bergere and below par servants you know, as your commanding officer I have to make difficult decisions , thats why I've come to this Australian part of the line to find the best soldiers in the British and Commonwealth army. I need a raiding party of you Aussies to go over the top this evening on a reco raid on the German Trench opposite us. When I say reco, I don't mean recon, its also short for recover. You see I understand the Germans have their Teutonic backsides upon one or two cases of a very fine Brandy over in Jerry's Trench and to be honest I'm having one or two chaps from the mess back to the Chateau...I mean dugout of course... and rather fancy giving them a drop of captured gut rot after we've eaten our five course meal what. Knew I could rely on you chaps to volunteeer, but just in case I can't here is a list of those on the raiding party;
Larso, Brett, Waynepoo, Jack, Wayne, Oz, Simmo, Tom,Howard.
If I've left anyone off feel free to take them along. Now I cannot stress enough how timing will be absolutely vital on this raid, intel from my cook informs me Dessert course will finish around 8.30 so you must have the Brandy back to me by then. Now I know struggling in the dark across no mans land is going to be very difficult indeed and cause delay, so I've arranged for a couple of flares to be sent up, that should help you see for miles around, no don't thank me, its the least I can do, what. I also thought that carrying boxes of Brandy back will also not be easy, so on this raid you will not be taking rifles just bayonets.
Obviously I can't be with you in person but I will be in spirit, or to put it another way hopefully the spirit will be with me when and if you all make it back across the wire, what. Good luck chaps , oh and if any of you should get in a funk and not go over the top I will of course have you shot, War is such a dirty business isn't it, reminds me, I must get my man to clean my golf bag.
Tally ho!
Rob (**** General, what what !!)