In Airline Stewardess voice over airport Tannoy;
FINAL CALL FOR ALL UK AND VISITING TOY SOLDIER COLLECTORS!
THIS FLIGHT WILL LEAVE FOR LONDON THIS SATURDAY AT 7AM!
WOULD ALL PASSENGERS PLEASE COME EARLY,SECURE THEIR CREDIT CARDS AND PREPARE FOR TOY SOLDIER TAKE OFF
FOR THOSE HAVING THE HOTEL BREAKFAST PLEASE FIND YOUR PERSONAL VOMIT BAG IN THE SEAT IN FRONT OF YOU
REFRESHMENTS WILL BE SERVED IN THE BAR AREA AT 12.30
THE EXITS ARE TO LEFT AND RIGHT SHOULD YOUR WIFE ARRIVE AND DISCOVER HOW MUCH YOU ARE SPENDING
THERE ARE NO LAVATORIES. LAVATORIES ARE FOR WIMPS AND NON COLLECTORS,SHOULD YOU FEEL THE URGE PLEASE USE THE HOTEL WINDOWS,PEOPLE STAYING AT THE HOTEL ARE REQUESTED TO COME DOWNSTAIRS BEFORE DOING THIS, AS THIS CAUSED GREAT OFFENCE AMONGST THE WOMENS FLOWER ARRANGING CONVENTION LAST TIME.
SHOULD YOU BECOME THIRSTY PLEASE MAKE YOUR WAY TO THE BAR AND ASK FOR BOB OR SIMON,UK REB OR WRAITH.
PLEASE DO NOT ASK THE STEWARDESS FOR 'PERSONAL ATTENTION'. HE'S NOT THAT SORT OF CHAP AND IS HAPPILY MARRIED.ALTHOUGH IF MISS PENELOPE CRUZ IS ON BOARD COULD SHE PLEASE COME FORWARD AND MAKE HERSELF KNOWN TO HIM.
THANK YOU FOR IGNORING THIS MESSAGE AND ENJOY YOUR FLIGHT!
Rob