Learning American (3 Viewers)

[4th Hussar]

Some of this reminds me of a Steven Wright comedy routine, such as:

"Why do you park on driveways but park on driveways"

"Why does sour cream have an expiration date. How is going to get any more sour?"

Drive on parkways and park on driveways

 

[L Flowers]

For those of you who have never been to "Bawstin", this is a good guideline. I hope you will consider coming to "Beantown" in the near future. For those who call New England home, this is just plain great!

Information on Boston and the surrounding area:

There's no school on School Street, no court on Court Street, no dock on Dock Square, no water on Water Street. Back Bay streets are in alphabetical "oddah": Arlington, Berkeley,Clarendon, Dartmouth, etc. So are South Boston streets: A, B, C, D, etc. If the streets are named after trees (e.g. Walnut, Chestnut, Cedar), you're on Beacon Hill. If they're named after poets, you're in Wellesley.
Massachusetts Avenue is Mass Ave; Commonwealth Avenue is Comm Ave;
South Boston is Southie. The South End is the South End.
East Boston is Eastie. The North End is east of the former West End. The West End and Scollay Square are no more; a guy named Rappaport got rid of them one night. Roxbury is The Burry, Jamaica Plain is J.P.

How to say these Massachusetts city names correctly:
**Say it wrong, be shunned**
Worcester: Wuhsta (or Wistah)
Gloucester : Glawsta
Leicester: Lesta
Woburn: Wooban
Dedham : Dead-um
Revere: Re-vee-ah
Quincy: Quinzee
Tewksbury : Tooks berry
Leominster : Lemin-sta
Peabody: Pee-ba-dee
Waltham : Walth-ham
Chatham: Chaddum
Samoset: Sam-oh-set or Sum-aw-set but nevah Summerset!

Definitions:
Frappes have ice cream, milkshakes don't.
If it is fizzy and flavored, it's tonic.
Soda is CLUB SODA.
"Pop" is DAD.
When we want Tonic WATER, we will ask for TONIC WATER.
The smallest beer is a pint.
Scrod is whatever they tell you it is, usually fish. If you paid more than $7/pound, you got scrod.
It's not a water fountain; it's a bubblah.
It's not a trashcan; it's a barrel.

It's not a shopping cart; it's a carriage.
It's not a purse; it's a pock-a-book.
They're not franks; they're haht dahgs; Franks are money in Switzahland.

Police don't drive patrol units or black and whites they drive a "crooza". If you take the bus, your on the "looza crooza". It's not a rubber band, it's an elastic. It's not a traffic circle, it's a rotary. "Going to the islands" means Martha's Vineyard & Nantucket.

The Sox = The Red Sox
The C's = The Celtics
The B's = The Bruins
The Pat's =The Patriots
Things not to do:

Don't pahk your cah in Hahvid Yahd .. they'll tow it to Meffa (Medford) or Summahville (Somerville).
Don't sleep on the Common. (Boston Common)
Don't wear Orange in Southie on St. Patrick's Day.

Things you should know:
There are two State Houses, two City Halls, two courthouses, two Hancock buildings
(one old, one new for each).

The colored lights on top the old Hancock tell the weatha':
"Solid blue, clear view...."
"Flashing blue, clouds due...."
"Solid red, rain ahead...."
"Flashing red, snow instead...." - except in summer;
flashing red means the Red Sox game was rained out!
Most people live here all their life and still don't know what the hell is going on with this one.
Route 128 is I-95 south. It's also I-93 north.
The underground train is not a subway. It's the "T", and it doesn't run all night (fah chrysakes, this ain't Noo Yawk).
Order the "cold tea" in China Town after 2:00 am you'll get a kettle full of beer.

Bostonians... think that it's their God-given right to cut off someone in traffic.
Bostonians...think that there are only 25 letters in the alphabet (no R's) except in "idea".
Bostonians...think that three straight days of 90+ temperatures is a heat wave.
Bostonians...refer to six inches of snow as a "dusting."
Bostonians...always "bang a left" as soon as the light turns green, and oncoming traffic always expects it.
Bostonians...believe that using your turn signal is a sign of weakness.
Bostonians...think that 63-degree ocean water is warm.
Bostonians...think Rhode Island accents are annoying.

 

[eborris]

I don't how you could eat a Hot Dog without loading it up with Tomato Sauce (aka Ketchup)

The only place I ever eat a hot dog is at the ballpark and they give you mustard with it, never ketchup, in the old days it already came with mustard on it.

Some people put ketchup on everything including eggs and ham which is just a crime.

 

[Spitfrnd]

The only place I ever eat a hot dog is at the ballpark and they give you mustard with it, never ketchup, in the old days it already came with mustard on it.

Some people put ketchup on everything including eggs and ham which is just a crime.

Well tastes are what they are, tastes; it is only a crime if you have to eat it. Actually, I like salsa with my ham and eggs from time to time and barbarcue sauce on my dawgs.

 

[gk5717]

If you are not from St Louis do you know what toasted ravioli, or porksteaks are?
Gary

 

[theBaron]

Mustard, chopped onions, and chili sauce on a hot dog. Not chili, not that thick, gloopy, Hormel-in-a-can crap they have at the 7-11, but chili sauce, there's a difference.

Failing that, brown mustard and sauerkraut, or brown mustard and relish.

Ketchup is for fries and that's about it. Oh, and for scrapple, too, though I put apple butter and maple syrup on it, sometimes.

And the Soda/Pop border is somewhere out in western Ohio or eastern Indiana, we drink soda here, too.

"Sweet tea" is slowly pushing "iced tea" out, though, with the strength of commercial advertising behind it (eg, McDonald's).

But we have Snyder's pretzels, Utz' and Good's potato chips, Tastykakes, and Yocco's. And Yuengling.

Prosit!
Brad

 

[OzDigger]

I don't how you could eat a Hot Dog without loading it up with Tomato Sauce (aka Ketchup)

And of course Beetroot on your Burger

 

[Louis Badolato]

I have to agree with the Baron (Brad) that on a hotdog, the only acceptable toppings are your preferred combination of Mustard, Onions, Sour Kraut and/or Chili Sauce.

I have to disagree with his limitation of Ketchup to fries. Ketchup belongs on BURGERS as well as fries. Preferably with melted chedder cheese, thick cut bacon . . . darn, now I'm hungry!!!

 

[eborris]

I have to agree with the Baron (Brad) that on a hotdog, the only acceptable toppings are your preferred combination of Mustard, Onions, Sour Kraut and/or Chili Sauce.

I have to disagree with his limitation of Ketchup to fries. Ketchup belongs on BURGERS as well as fries. Preferably with melted chedder cheese, thick cut bacon . . . darn, now I'm hungry!!!

In Chicago that would be mustard, relish, onions, tomatoes and celery salt on your hot dog. Ketchup gets the gong.

 

[kilted vampire]

You guys are so continental.......... Try fries with mayo.

 

[thebritfarmer]

You guys are so continental.......... Try fries with mayo.

The very best way to eat them KV

 

[eborris]

You guys are so continental.......... Try fries with mayo.

Ugh!!!!!!!!

 

[THE SHOOTIST]

I had a tough time just moving from Maine to Massachesetts. In Maine:

Soft drink="Soda"

In Mass:

Soft drink="Tonic"

In Maine, Hot Dogs are RED
In Mass, Hot Dogs are pink.

When you say "A-yuh" in Maine, everyone understands you, and says "A-yuh" back.

In Mass, if you say "A-yuh" they think you're a 'hayseed', and ask if you're from Maine.

 

[theBaron]

You guys are so continental.......... Try fries with mayo.

Mayo?! Fegh! Mayonnaise is for the goyim, and I say that, as a goy, fegh! Mayo only on a BLT!

 

[thebritfarmer]

Mayo?! Fegh! Mayonnaise is for the goyim, and I say that, as a goy, fegh! Mayo only on a BLT!

Brad you of all people should know that Germans are HUGE fans of pommes mit mayo.

 

[kilted vampire]

Brad you of all people should know that Germans are HUGE fans of pommes mit mayo.

I told ya, continental ! La ! notice the winks

 

[theBaron]

Brad you of all people should know that Germans are HUGE fans of pommes mit mayo.

Yeah, you can get it in Strassenverkauf, but I'd still buy a Bockwurst mit Semmel und Senf. Pizza and Doner Kebab was much more popular on the streets in Munich.

 

[Ragnar]

And of course Beetroot on your Burger

OZ i hate Beetroot ...but a good Burger should have egg/bacon/beef patty/lettuce/tomato/onion/pineapple/and BBQ Sauce.
I allways ask for the works..but tell them to leave out the Beetroot .
and wash it all down with a LARGE CHOC THICK SHAKE .

 

[lancer]

I have only one thing to say on the subject of mayo with french fries -- it should be illegal.

 

[eborris]

OZ i hate Beetroot ...but a good Burger should have egg/bacon/beef patty/lettuce/tomato/onion/pineapple/and BBQ Sauce.
I allways ask for the works..but tell them to leave out the Beetroot .
and wash it all down with a LARGE CHOC THICK SHAKE .

Egg?