Was good of Harry to post this info,i wonder how he got the intel?!.
Rob
Well, I was somewhat reluctant to divulge how I came by the intel Rob – but seeing you ask….
PROLOGUET
he Heid was in Hong Kong – again. It was midnight and I had been out cruising the mean Streets Of Old Wanchai hoping to track down an infrequent acquaintance of mine, Renfield, who happens to be my mole in, “The Organization”. If I could find him, then with the assistance of copious quantities of beverage, perhaps I could get him to dish the dirt on
THE MASTERS schemes for further world domination.
Well, that was the plan anyway – up until I happened to get chatting to a very friendly and rather winsome young lady of indeterminate ancestry, wearing an extremely short – and, by Jove somewhat tight I must say, err – apparel. In fact, Susie was so friendly I decided to invite her back to my rooms for a nice cup of instant green Chinese tea and possibly some interesting conversation about how the price of fried chicken chop suey had simply rocketed lately. After all, Missus Heid was presumably safely tucked up and enjoying her last 24 hours of peace and quiet before I turned up to cast my shadow on her front door yet again – and more to the point she was around 800 miles away.
Deciding to take a quick detour down some dingy back alley; just before joining the queue to use the public convenience, I happened to chance upon this computer bag lying next to a garbage disposal unit. Strange place to find a computer bag you would have thought – and so did I. However, yours truly is not known for looking a gift horse in the mouth.
Temporarily ignoring the happenstance call of nature that had caused me to unexpectedly find something for nothing, and taking the opportunity to ditch Susie who was presumably powdering her nose in the ladies restroom, (and whom I had lost all interest in by now), I elbowed my way past my fellow revelers, beggars, late-night shoppers, massage parlor employees, street entertainers and other assorted creatures of the night, and found myself at the end of the alley clutching the said bag in my hot sticky hands. Taking a furtive look around to ensure no-one could see what I was up to, I chanced to take a glance at my loot, err, I mean the contents of the bag which had obviously been mislaid by some poor widow with six hungry mouths to feed – maybe. I must confess, up until this point I had in fact intended to, err, hand it in to the nearest Police Station manned by Members of Hong Kong’s Finest. One look inside banished all those altruistic intentions like Snow in July.
Wait for it, my spellbound audience……I had found the Holy Grail of all WWII collectors from around the globe. Yes, the First Clay Masters of what, even in the shadowy gloom cast by the dim gas-fuelled streetlights, appeared to be a simply stunning range of miniature figurines. Glancing over my shoulder, I swiftly made my way back to “Mamma-Saan’s House of Heavenly Joy”, where I always shack up when I travel through “The Fragrant Harbor” cos me and Ms Saan have a certain, umm,
arrangement. Letting myself into my suite, I dumped my find under the bed.
Heading back out to continue sampling the various diverting attractions, and resume my mission to find Renfield in the green and pleasant suburb of Wanchai, I found myself reflecting on life’s strange journey – and how much I could sell those figures for down in the local street traders market tomorrow. The Acer Ferrari Laptop might fetch a rather tidy sum as well. Maybe enough to allow me to spend an extra couple of days in town – and perhaps even pay a brief visit to a certain extremely expensive retail outlet in Pacific Place that I happen to frequent, albeit maybe not so often after entering this report.
In the morning, (well, it might have been the afternoon, cos I can’t quite seem to recall exactly), after figuring out where I was, I brushed my teeth, planned where I was going to go eat breakfast/lunch/dinner, found a relatively clean pair of socks, and so on.....
Oh, wait a minute, didn’t I take something back with me last night at some point in the evening? Taking a quick peek under the duvet cover, I ascertained that it was either an inanimate object I was desperately trying to remember, or I had dreamed up the entire sequence of events while out like a light. Oh well....
Striding to the door to see what adventures I was destined to get up to today, I tripped over this bloody bag the cleaners had obviously left behind in an attempt to expedite swabbing down the room and make an escape from my thunderous snoring. After toeing the thing around a few times first in an attempt to decide if it contained any wildlife, I took a brief look at the contents and placed them next to the TV in order to examine my find more closely. Hmm, now aren’t they nice.
Swiftly booting up the laptop, (The Heid knows all the password crack codes by the way), I perused the contents of the hard drive. Hmm, transferring all the more, err,
interesting movies to my own computer, I decided to have a quick look at the “My Pictures” folder; see if there was anything worth looking at in there – such as a jpeg of the owner of the electronic abacus – so’s I could avoid him or her like the plague for the remaining extent of this stopover. Oh, joy….there before my incredulous eyes were some photos of the miniatures currently sitting next to the TV – so I was able to save the expense of buying a throw-away digital camera in order to post the images here, and headed out to sell the figurines. I also sold the laptop, even sold the bag, and so was able to stay on in Hong Kong for a few extra nights, all thanks to my fortuitous find.
Shame I never did catch up with Renfield though. Must’ve been taken to the clinic again.
So there you have it my Fellow Treefrogers. Yet another adventurous episode in The Life of The Heid.
Cheers
Harry....