TD,
I got a Red Ryder BB gun once when I was a kid and the old man had one rule (a la To Kill a Mockingbird) and that was not to shot any birds because they make music. Well, the temptation over came me and I shot a bird off a electrical wire in an alley when I was like 10 or 11. The bird fell flat off the wire and went to check out my "kill". The poor bird was wheezing, kicking and died a slow death. I was ashamed and to this day I remember that incident and I regret shooting that little bird. I didn't pick up a rifle until I was in the military and the targets this time weren't birds, but humans. I guess thats why I am a little pacifistic when it comes to brandishing weapons and all the bravado that goes along with it. Don't get me wrong I own two military weapons in the house a M9 and M-16 (AR-15 or whatever) and thats about it, but they don't see the light of day. Its one of those "break glass in case of emergency" type of things. Everyone once in a while I will take them apart and put them back together to make sure I am still frosty on the nomenclature. Other than that they stay locked up and out of sight.Funny thing is a did pull out the pistol about 10 years ago because of snake in the back yard right by the patio. It was a Hognose snake that flares up like a Cobra with the back and all when threatened. By the time I got the heat and came back he was gone.
In the mean time, I bought a single pump pellet gun for the back yard and have yet to sight it in. I got it because we had a skunk family creeping around the backyard and the dogs were getting sprayed practically every other day. It was a disaster because they would come in the house and rub the scent off their faces on the rugs. Ugh! The house was smelling pretty putrid. A cop Buddy of mine has a .22 with night vision, lasers and all that and offered it to me because he too has critters in his back yard. I declined because I KNOW the neighbors would freak out if they heard a rifle shot in the back yard and since I don't like one of my immediate neighbors (a story for another day and I, by the way did nothing to start the animosity) would call in the SWAT team to take me down. Yeah, they are that uncool.
Okay, the hell with it I tell the story. My left neighbors moved in about 2 summers ago. I was on the Caterpillar in the front yard doing the do with my landscaping project. I was moving earth around and saw a little girl in our cul-de-sac staring at me and smiling. I immediately faced her stopped the CAT, because even though she was a distance away I was not about keep running the equipment because there might be other kids around. At that time, I saw the whale of the mom rushing towards her and swooped the little girl behind her in a manner of protection. I turned off the CAT and the mother was looking at me sternly. When I removed my ear buds, gloves, hat and sunglasses I said "Hi, I'm John are you the new neighbor?" He mouth dropped open, her demeanor changed and she fumbled out "Oh...uh you live here...I thought...my daughter kept telling me there a was man driving a CAT and I did not understand what she was talking about" On the Caterpillar there is the letters "CAT" on the back of the skid steer. "Yeah, thats me, so you guys are moving in today?" She replied "Yes, we finally made it! My mother in law passed away and left us insurance money and we bought this house" I was a little confused at the "too much information" reply and said "Okay, well welcome to the neighborhood and I'll shut down my excavating today since you guys are moving in. It's too dangerous running equipment while you have movers and what not...nice meeting you" And with that she rushed her child into the house and I was done for the day.
A few months went by and Shamu approached me again in my drive way and asked me if I had a security camera that faced her house. I was confused at her question because was she accusing me of spying on her or was there something else she was after. Remember, I don't know these people. Anyway, she was asking because apparently someone broke into her house through the back door, stole jewelry and her husbands class ring from Texas A&M. I asked her if she had reported it to the police and she said no and I suggested she check Craigslist to see if anyone was selling her stuff online. But why she did not report it to the police AND the HOA to send out an alert was beyond me and I told she HAS to do that for the record and inform the board of the burglary so everyone can be on the look out. Plus, the insurance needs it to, a report that is. She kinda hymned and hawed and we parted ways that I don't have any video and I am so sorry she experienced that. But I got to thinking my dogs (Labradors) can sense movement outside while they are sleeping inside. They'll pop up out of the blue and go running out the doggy door barking away and had not in the days or nights of her alleged robbery.
It was well into the fall high school semester when my daughter came home and told me that one of her friends named Diego has swimming practice with the eldest daughter of the neighbor and during practice she told Diego (my daughters NHS friend) that they (my neighbors) think it was I, ME who broke into their house and stole their jewelry and class ring. I was like gobsmacked, pissed and embarrassed that the neighbor kid was telling other high school kids that were my daughter friends I was the neighborhood CAT burglar. I marched right over to her house and confronted the mom and dressed her down about these false accusations her daughter was spreading to my daughters friends and the sad thing about it (though she feigned confusion) was that she never denied or promised to confront her daughter about it. Had I found out my kids were spreading malicious lies about somebody, especially one as salacious as this I would drag me kid down stairs and ask them in front of the neighbor if what they said was true and if so there would be hell to pay. That, in my opinion, is waaaaaay out of line and not how I raised my kids.
Anyway, that is why I did not use the souped up .22 to kill skunks in my back yard and to this day my neighbors always give me dirty looks when I drive by, especially the husband who thinks I stole his Texas A&M ring. Hey, dummy I'm a bona-fide LONGHORN and have zero need, desire or want to have anything Aggie in my house, let alone steal it to bring it in my house. People are strange, crazy, weird and if you did not pick up on her "oh...you live here comment" its simple to understand: she thought I was the brown hired worker next door who, in her mind, was checking out her child daughter in the cul-de-sac. These "micro-aggressions" as Jazz put it have happened to me through out my life. I can't escape it even though I live in one of SA's most expensive neighborhoods in the city and I'm not bragging here. NO, just laying it out for you that some things never change no matter how far you have exceeded in life.
John from Texas
PS: Hey Go for Broke...how 'bout them typing skills.
